Not much is going on ... if I weren't so sleepy I'd try to get some excitement in my life ...

John has a cold. 

Which meant that we had a quiet weekend and didn't really get anything done that we wanted to.  I spent the weekend in the spare bedroom since I didn't want to get sick, which made my body ache.  The bed is comfortable, but it's a twin, and Honey would rather join me and share the twin bed with me than John and the queen bed.  She's heavy enough that I can't move her without some major effort when she's asleep and doesn't want to be moved, so I end up sleeping in the weirdest positions because she's pushed me out of her way.

She's so spoiled.

Now we've started another week.  One bit of exciting news - I've been invited to be an Honorary Member of the Golden Key Honor Society.  Only students can be members, and since I'm not a student I don't qualify.  But I'm really excited about this - it's the first time this type of thing has happened to me!

John is enjoying his lab - he's so pleased at how much work he can get done in the lab.  As sick as he was, he still got up and went in and did some work in the lab on Saturday.  Seeing him so happy is wonderful.

Well, I'm hoping this is a slow week, but the only way that's going to happen is if I actually go get some work done.

Tragedy and Mental Illness

If you've been anywhere in the US the past few days, you've heard about the school shooting in Sandy Hook, CT.  We don't really have a tv, so the majority of my information about the shooting comes from facebook posts and online articles.  I just wanted to share a few thoughts about it.

For future reference ... or for those who haven't heard about the shooting ... on Friday, December 14th, a man entered a Sandy Hook Elementary school classroom and shot and killed 20 first graders  and 6 adults.  This is an unspeakable tragedy - honestly no words come to me.  I cannot even fathom the pain and the loss that the families and friends of everyone involved must be feeling.


Within hours of the shooting, people started debating whether we should be allowed to carry guns or not.  Some people argue that the shooting would not have happened or been nearly as bad is someone within the school had been armed.  Others argue for stricter gun laws that may have prevented the shooter from getting a gun in the first place.

By the next day, people were pointing fingers - saying that these things only happen because God was taken out of schools and there's no prayer in the classrooms.  They are saying that if we still prayed to God and taught the Bible in public schools then maybe this shooter wouldn't have done this.

(Of course, there's also the radical groups such as Westboro Baptist Church who claim that this whole tragedy is God's judgement on this nation, and they are planning on picketing the children's funerals.)

My reaction to all these?  Shame.  Frustration.  Even a bit of anger.

Over two dozen people died needlessly - most of them young children - and you're using their deaths to get on your soapbox and promote your own belief system?  How incredibly callous and unfeeling. 

Now is a time for mourning - for grieving and for supporting the families and friends of the victims.  Not for politics or religious battles or grand-standing. 

After that ... then we can figure out how to prevent this from happening again.  Not because of this shooting, but because it should never have happened at all.


***********


Now I'm going to go against what many of the people in my circles believe.  I grew up hearing the belief that there was no such thing as a "mental illness".  That anything that was wrong in the brain was either demon possession or the results of a sinful life; the only cure was God. 

There were some grey areas - mental disabilities such as Down Syndrome or Autism were regarded as sympathetic.  But illnesses such as depression, asbergers, bi-polar, etc. did not exist.

And that is something that I disagree with.  Every other part of our bodies can get sick or fail us - why should our brain be any different?  All it takes is an imbalance in chemicals and hormones to mess us up horribly in the head. 

Thankfully, this is not something I've had to experience; neither John nor I suffer from any of this.  But I've read up on a lot of it.  And while there is help out there (once you get past the sometimes-crushing stigma of having a mental illness), that help is often only available for people with "normal" mental illnesses.  And often can only be available if people want help - which many people who are not well think they don't need. 

Article:  "I am Adam Lanza's Mother" by Liza Long

Currently, in the US, there are no real options available for people whose mental health may cause them to injure themselves or others.  The way things are now, we have to wait until they "snap" so that we can put them in jail.  At which point it may be too late. 

I hardly think that that's a good policy.  For anyone.

 ************
 
You might think I'm being a bit hypocritical - condemning others for using this tragedy, and then speaking up myself.  And maybe I am.

Nothing can justify the taking of lives.  I mourn for each of the people who died ... and I mourn that someone felt that there was no other way to ease his own pain than to cause so much pain for others.

Article:  "Tragic Violence and Empathy" Nurshable blog 

But surely, if we wanted to prevent things like this happening in the future - shouldn't we spend our energy trying to help people so they never get this desperate?  That we see that they get the help that they need?

We Interrupt this Saga for an Important News Bulletin

We got John's last test back .... and he practically Aced it!

The average for the class on the test was an 81, and John got a 99!  (He totally broke the curve).  He made the highest grade in the class!

He actually missed three points ... but actually was given two extra points because some of his answers were so good!

He is thrilled, and I am so stinkin' proud of him!!

School Update - with an expected apology for my hiatus with an unexpected explanation

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!!

Sorry for the brief hiatus - life got crazier than usual lately.  Which I will detail a bit in a later post.  Just as an appetizer ... the story may involve the police, a van full of mexicans, loose cows, and a car chase.

Not necessarily in that order.

Anyway ... update on John's schooling...

John really likes the lab he's currently in.  He loves the research (eye research - something he's been interested in for years)He gets along very well with the PI, who is and would be working closely with him.  The only other grad student in the lab is graduating after 4 years (would have been 3.5 years, but she had to take a personal leave of absence for a few months) and is the most decorated and honored student on campus.  Not even exaggerating - she received about 4 different awards and scholarships at the beginning of the year.

That being  said, there's two things against her ... one, she's thinking about moving on.  She's putting out feelers to move to another university.  If that goes through, then John would have to move with her.  There is no guarantee that if she moves, that John will be able to get into the new university (especially with his record of having dropped out of medical school).  Also, he loses all kinds of contacts from this school; as well as being faced with people accusing him of "coming in the back door".  Second, he's not sure that this lab would put him where he wants to be long term.  It would be amazing for the short term 5-10 years.  But not where he wants to be in 15 years.

So, we're back to the original first lab.  It might not be as ideal in the short term - but it really is pointing him to where he wants to be in 10-20 years.  And to be honest, that is the biggest difference between John and his classmates; he knows what his final goal is.  They are focused on the here and now.  He is focused on where he wants to be.

Yesterday John signed up for his elective classes for next semester.  The lab he wants to go into requires a certain class - Genomic Medicine - and as of now he's the only one signed up for the class.  He's excited because all the people teaching the class have been some of best lecturers this semester - and having a one-on-one class would be an interesting experience!

He still has some decisions to make, and details to work out.  But at least we're headed in a specific direction.

I'd better pick up that Mandarin Rosetta Stone course again.  Something tells me it would be a good idea to learn it.

Decisions, decisions ...

John's taking his test right now; he said that he felt ready for it.  I hope that he does well!

After the test, a bunch of his classmates are going to a Korean BBQ Restaurant (John says that it's not really BBQ) to eat and do karaoke.  John really wants to go, while I'm a bit more ... ambivalent.

First, by the end of the week I'm tired.  I want to go home and get into some comfortable clothes and relax!  Going out with a bunch of people I hardly know isn't very relaxing.  Of course, then the arguement is that I won't get to know them if I stay home.

Another thing is the karaoke - I've never been before, but I know what it is, and I'm not sure I'd like it.  Not sure why - but I get way too uptight about music.  I don't know most of the music, and it really bothers me when music isn't sung properly.  I looked up a list of the top 500 karaoke songs ... and I barely knew 7 of them well enough to be able to sing them.  John and I were looking at some last night, and let's just say I didn't react well when John started singing horribly on purpose.  I don't know why it grates so badly, but it drives me up a wall!

On top of that is the whole social anxiety deal - I've been prepping myself to go to Western Day on Saturday.  That's an annual event that our church puts on.  We went last year, and I had the worst attack of anxiety yet - it took everything in me to not collapse in tears when we arrived.  I spent the entire time sitting quietly in a corner while John played flag football with the men.  It wasn't fun.

I know I *ought* to go to both... karaoke tonight and western day tomorrow.  I honestly don't want to go to either.  But I promised John I'd go to at least one of them with him.  I don't know what I'll do.

John will want to get out of the house and have fun this weekend; he always does after a test!  So, we'll see what happens!

Happy Friday! 

You should've come to my house at 6 pm last night

I meant to post this on Thursday, but it took me till today to get a picture.  

Last night was my very first Halloween.

My family didn't "do" Halloween when I was growing up.  We never decorated, we never dressed up, we never trick-or-treated.  In fact, I think I remember missing out on some of the halloween activities in elementary/middle school because of a note from home.

When we got married, John and I never really talked about Halloween, except to agree that we didn't want to do Halloween at our place.  That neighborhood was scary!  Any kids that we might get (and we never expected any - especially after dark) more than likely went to better neighborhoods.

But this year ... we have a nice house in a quiet little subdivision, and we knew that we'd get trick-or-treaters.  And we decided ... that's okay.

So, the first order of business was decorating.

Honestly, I love fall - I love the weather, I love the colors, I love just about everything fall.  I love getting my sweaters out of storage.  So, all of my decorations are Fall decorations - not Halloween decorations.

We didn't do much.  John and I went to the store and picked out two pumpkins for the front porch.  We were going to carve the pumpkins, but then got busy and didn't get around to it.  So, we've had some pumpkins sitting on the front steps for a few weeks now.

Next, we went and bought a fall wreath to hang on the door.  That wreath makes me happy every time I see it - red and orange and glittery!

Welcome!

That was about it. John had a study session last night, so he didn't come home in time for trick-or-treaters.  I'd filled two large bowls of candy to give out, and changed into a t-shirt with a big pumpkin on it, and that was it for me.

Unfortunately, I ran out of candy far too soon, but that's my fault.  The first 20-30 kids who came by got a large handful of candy, before I realized that I really should be stretching the candy out.  I managed to last a bit longer when I started giving each kid 3-4 pieces of candy, but I still closed up much earlier than my neighbors.  Oh well.

I'm a little bummed about it, but considering it was my very first time EVER?  I'll know better next year.

And as far as I'm concerned?  John totally missed out.

Lab Updates

John has decided that he does not want to work in the lab he is currently working in.  While he says it's a good lab, and one that many of his classmates are interested in, it's not a good fit for him.

Besides the fact that the lab (or the building, we're not sure which) gives him headaches, he's decided he's not that interested in that field of research.  Apparently it is one of the most difficult specialties to actually receive funding for, so it really is a declining field.  If he went into this field of research, he'd constantly be struggling to get funding, and he'd constantly be worried about being "scooped" from other labs and researchers who are trying just as hard to get funding.

More and more, he is thinking that he'll end up in the first lab he rotated through.  Although he had a rough start, he truly liked it there by the end.  Once he left and saw other labs on campus, he's realized just how great that first lab was - and how those three weeks, even with the language barrier, left him better prepared and more knowledgeable about research techniques than his classmates.

Very few (if any) of his classmates are interested in that first lab.  All of them (John included) had heard negative things about the lab.  But John traced all those negative things back to one grad student in the lab, whose initial research didn't work out, and ended up in a position in the lab that she hates.  And the things in the lab that she hates, are things that John actually kinda likes.  She's been scaring grad students away from this lab - a lab with plenty of money, resources, and a willingness to teach a grad student - for the past 3-4 years.  The PI of the lab is beside himself; he can't understand why no one is going into his lab.

The PI met with John on the last day of his three-week rotation, and promised him three things: 

1. John will graduate in 4-5 years.
2. John will be researching something that matters, with great possibilities for getting published in high-profile journals.
3. John will not have to worry about money.  If John wants to research something that costs a million dollars, they can do that.

The neat thing about this lab is that it approaches research differently than most other labs on campus (Indeed, most of research nowadays).  Most scientists and researchers come up with a hypothesis, and then collect data to prove their hypothesis correct (or incorrect, as it sometimes happens).  This lab collects the data first, and then analyzes the data to come up with the hypothesis.  Which honestly makes much more sense than the normal method to me.

Another cool thing?  The primary language in the lab is Mandarin Chinese.  John and I have been interested in learning Chinese for the past two years - we've got the Rosetta Stone Mandarin software that we've been going through off and on for about a year now.  There is no better place in this country to learn Mandarin than in a lab populated primarily by native Mandarin speakers.  If John could leave grad school with a good degree and knowing Mandarin ... that would be so amazing, and would make him stand out to no end.

We also learned that two of the researchers in that lab live about two houses down from us.  We haven't actually met them yet, but if John does go in that lab, I'm sure we will at some point.

So ... now John's approaching his next few lab rotations as though they need to prove to him that they are better than that first lab.  Right now?  That seems a rather high goal to reach.

Normal again - and all it took was some caffeine

So, I've been caffeine-free for the past several years - ever since my sophomore year of college, actually.

It started completely by accident.  I don't drink coffee or tea, and the only soda's that I liked back then were sprite and root beer.  The cafeteria at college didn't offer root beer, so I just drank sprite whenever I got a soda.  Without my even realizing it, months passed with no caffeine being injected into my system.

I didn't realize what was going on until my sophomore year.  I had a big day, full of tests that I was dreading.  But the night before I was completely exhausted, and I went to bed about midnight, with the plan that I would get up early the next morning and get some more study time in.  So, 5 AM comes, I drag myself out of bed, go down to the vending machine, and buy a nice 20oz Code Red Mountain Dew.

And drink the whole thing.

Insert "Caffeine" in place of "Red Bull", and that about describes it.

By 6:30 AM, when my roommates started stirring, I was so worked up that I couldn't sit still.  I tried resting my eyes for a bit, but as soon as I did the world started spinning and I felt like I was falling.

Somehow I made it through my morning classes.

By lunchtime, I was still so jittery I was shaking.  I'm surprised that the essay test I had in History was readable!

By 4 PM I'd stopped shaking, but was still super jumpy.  Jumpy enough that my co-workers were commenting (and laughing).

I didn't fall asleep that night until 3 AM the next morning.

After all that?  I stopped drinking caffeine. 

Skip ahead a few years.  A few months ago, I started taking this medication that makes me tired.  No, tired is too casual a word ... exhausted.  We'd take Honey for a walk around the block, and I'd need a nap as soon as we got back.  It hasn't been fun.

This has been me.

So I've been slowly adding caffeine back into my diet.  A few weeks ago I started drinking a coca-cola everyday - and actually started feeling good again!  I could get things done!  I wasn't being a lazy bum and laying around the house all day!

Still, drinking that much coke isn't very healthy ...  so John and I started discussing options.  Coffee is out - although I'd love the energy boost that it would give me, I just cannot stand the taste.  As for tea - I'd never found a tea that I liked.  I like Chai Tea Lattes, but those aren't much healthier than Cokes!

This past weekend, I bought some Twinings of London Chai Tea bags, and started drinking that tea.  I'm not going to say that it's good - but it's drinkable.  (John says it's really good tea, though.)  I still need to add some cream and sugar to the tea, but I'm hoping over time to wean myself down.

The tea doesn't give me as much of a caffeine energy jolt as the Coke does, but it's more stable.  I can drink a cup of tea and get my work done.

I feel normal  again.  And it's wonderful!

Little Bits of Drama

Here are some small dramas that are happening right now.
My Work:
I'm in the middle of a company merger/consolidation.  Thankfully I have a job afterwards, but that's not the case for everyone.  I'm working with various committees to make sure everything transitions smoothly; which I honestly enjoy since I like knowing the details behind things.  But that's not the drama.

The drama is that one side of the company (the one I'm on) backed out of a planned joint event at the last moment, and now the other side is offended.  The people on my side are frustrated and annoyed because the other side keeps harping on it, while the people on the other side hasn't been directly told why my side backed out.  I'm in the middle, attempting mediation.  I managed to get our side calm enough to agree to address the issue calmly at the next meeting.  Let's hope the other side can react in a similar fashion.  This particular drama has been going on too long.

UPDATE:  Another situation exactly like this has just landed on my desk.  Argh!  We haven't finished cleaning up the last one!

John's School:
Most of John's classmates are amazing.  Very intelligent people from all over the world, who have also been kind enough to "adopt" me into their group.  The fact that I make them cookies doesn't hurt!

But some of his classmates are causing trouble in the lectures.  Some don't show up to lecture at all, even though there is a strict attendance policy (3 absences = failure).  Others spend the lecture interrupting the professor with stupid questions.  For instance, the professor explains a picture on the powerpoint.  The student raises their hand and asks, "Can you explain that picture?"  Not even exaggerating.  That happened.

This seems apt.

Those questions mean that the professor can't cover everything the professor needs to cover for the test.  Those same students have been known to raise their hand and say, "Excuse me, professor, but class ends in 5 minutes.  Can you just tell us what will be on the test?"  AFTER they had spent the whole two hours interrupting with stupid questions so that the professor got behind.

John's Labs:
John is in his second lab rotation, and although he says it's a good lab, he doesn't think it's a good fit for him.  We've been having an on/off discussion over the past few days about what he wants and expects out of  a lab.  For some reason, even though we were talking, we weren't communicating, and both of us were getting frustrated with the other one. 

Thankfully, we finally had a breakthrough last night and were able to talk it out.  We're good now.


On a completely different note, John and I decided that I need to try various types of tea.  The only tea I've ever tried is the tea made in the south, and I do not like it at all.  It tastes and feels like flavored water, and often leaves a bitter aftertaste.

I do like Chai tea, but can't drink that all the time due to how many calories are in it.  (But if I could, I would.  So good!)

So, probably starting soon I'll be trying various types of tea to decide if there is a tea out there I can drink.  I wonder if there is a place nearby where I could get samples...

In which I have to choose between posting something mediocre or not posting anything. Guess which one I choose.

I have nothing really to say today.

John is starting his new lab today ... he was a bit concerned this weekend because he hadn't heard from the PI in the lab, and thought that maybe the PI had double-booked students.  I haven't heard from John today except for a brief email saying he didn't know when he'd be done.  So, he's in lab somewhere!

I spent the weekend baking and baking and walking and baking.  Silly me couldn't for the life of me remember whether I normally follow the recipe for sugar cookies and use powdered sugar, or regular sugar.  So I used regular sugar.  Mistake.  They still taste good, but they aren't amazing.  I'm still a bit upset about it.

Not enough to remake the 60 cookies sitting in my freezer, though.

Saturday we went to the local park and took Honey for a walk - we walked about four miles.  Then Sunday evening we met up with one of John's classmates and his girlfriend and their dog, and all went for another walk for about 2 miles.  It was one of those situations where we really shouldn't have gone because both John and I had stuff to get done before Monday ... but we didn't want to push off the relationship that we're trying to build.

Of course, they might completely shun us after John brought up politics.  But, probably not.  Hopefully not.

I am thinking and writing in very choppy, incomplete sentences today.  I think it's because today's Monday.  Or the fact that I'm only now getting caffeine into my system.

Cooler Weather and Test Days

One test down ... one to go!

John seemed exceptionally pleased with how the test went.  He could hardly keep the grin off his face when I saw him after the test.  Although that could be because I was offering him some of the cookies that I made this weekend.  Gingerbread Orange Cookies.

I meant to make them for his classmates, but John and I ate so many this weekend that we didn't have enough for his classmates this morning!  So, I brought them into work for my co-workers ... and all the cookies were gone by 10:30.  And I'm still having people poking their heads in my office asking if there are any more cookies left.

I think I may make another batch.  And now not just because I have to take pictures!

We've been leaving the bathroom window open at night the past week or so - it's an easy way to cool the house down and air out the house.  But last night we had the first cold front of the season come through, and we woke up this morning shivering!  I'm totally loving the cooler weather!  I've made chili that is currently home cooking in the crock pot - Yum!!

Perhaps I'll be able to talk John into lighting the fire sometime this week!  

This time, it's different

I am feeling exceptionally optimistic today.  I'm sure part of it is just feeling well again, and part of it is the huge coke that I drank at lunch.  But another part is that it's Thursday, which means the weekend is almost here!  The weather is cooling off from the normal 90+ degree weather!  My job is more relaxed than it's been in over a year!  And now that both John and I are bringing in a paycheck, finances are not as pressing!

John is so happy in his program right now - even with the lab rotation not being quite to his liking.  He remarked at lunch today that he's been getting a lot of excellent study time in lately, and he's a bit concerned about not being able to sustain it and getting burnt out.  I told him I didn't think it was a problem.

He got burnt out in medical school.  In medical school he was told that he absolutely had to study every day all day - if he wasn't he was doing something wrong.  He had no control over his own schedule - it was always "study, study, study or fail."

Now, the only point is to get through the classes.  The classes are the basics before the labs, which are really important.  He study's for the classes, not for the purpose of studying.  He's in charge of his schedule.  He sets aside good chunks of time to get some studying done.

Yes, he's studying a lot.  But because he's keeping up with his schedule, he was not overwhelmed when he got sick last week and did nothing (school-wise) for three days.  He was able to go to church, to go to Bible Study, to play some computer games, to do extracurricular things.  Grad school is not ruling his life right now. 

There will be times when his blocks of study time are more or less effective than others.  That's normal.  But do I think his current schedule is unsustainable?  No.  Not as long as he continues to schedule the breaks and can get up and walk away from everything; to give himself a true mental and physical break from school; and come back refreshed.

That's what is different this time. 

I am so incredibly happy to see him succeeding, and being happy where he is.

My car Really needs some cup-holders

John is home in bed, sick with a cold.  He doesn't get sick often, but when he does, he completely shuts down.  Since attendance in required in all his classes, he got up and went to class this morning.

We carpool - him to class and me to work.  For one thing it saves money on gas and parking!  Today he was planning on staying on campus all day, and then leaving when I got off work this evening.  Instead, he showed up at my office at 11 am asking if I could take an early lunch to drive him home.

I took him home, with a brief stopover at Rite Aid to get him some medicine.  He went to get comfortable while I made him some soup and set up the laptop by the bed in case he wanted to watch anything.  When I left he was just tucking into some soup ... hopefully he can rest and feel better soon!

Since my hour was quickly disappearing, I stopped at Chick-fil-A to get some lunch for myself, along with a Coke.  Which then tipped and poured its entire contents all over the front seat as soon as I turned out of the parking lot. 

At least I have the weekend to scrub the car clean!

To end on a happier note ... the house sold!  The closing went very well, and that is one thing off of our plates!  Yay!

This & That

Bits of Randomness:

Thursday is my favorite day of the week.  Wednesdays are still too far away from the weekend, while Fridays are too popular.  Thursdays are like the downward slope after you've just crested the hill at the end of your walk, but before you actually get to the end.  It's just a great feeling.


John's getting his first stipend paycheck this weekend.  We were super stoked to get that email.  What with various expenses this year, we've worked through the little we'd saved and been uber tight the past 4-5 months.  With both of us getting paid, we can hopefully start to build up our savings again.  What a relief!


My work has actually calmed down and gotten easier lately.  The busyness of the new school year is calming down, and this is my fourth year in this position.  By now, I've gotten most things figured out (although I'm learning that there is always something unexpected that pops up) in my normal work day.  Last year at this time one of my co-workers left for a promotion in a different company, and all his work was passed onto me.  Basically from September 2011 to June 2012 I was working both my job and his job - which was in an area completely out of my expertise.  Needless to say I was super stressed almost all of last year.  But now that they've hired someone for that position ... my life is much happier!


The house closing is tomorrow - we had an A/C contractor come out and actually fix the a/c for under $400.  And it works!  The house is actually cool again!  Of course, then we turned off all the power, so nothing works right now.  I'm going to miss that house - our first home.  But at the same time ... I don't think I could move back.


I gave Honey a dose of benedryl-laced peanut butter during lunch today.  Benedryl makes her sleepy, and I'm wanting her to be sleepy and calm so that we can cut her nails.  They are ridiculously long since neither John nor I like to cut her nails because it's such an ordeal.  That dog is strong!  We've found that the only stress-free way to cut her nails is to make sure she's very sleepy and worn out first.  So ... a day or so on benedryl, plus a few long walks equals shorter nails without bloodshed and bruises.  For us, not Honey.  Honey is perfectly fine as long as she doesn't completely freak out.  Which she only does when we don't "sedate" her.

Back In School

John did not get much study time this weekend.  He claims that he doesn't have much to study yet; only a week out from his first tests, and nothing posted online yet for the upcoming week.  A part of me is glad that he's on top of things.  Another part is just a little bit worried.

We've done this before, you see.  Before starting the program he's currently in, John spent two years in medical school - and hated it.  He disliked the curriculum, didn't connect well with his classmates, and generally was not ready for the responsibilities required for medical school.  By the end of his second year, he was genuinely dreading the next 8 years of his life. 

After much heartache and discussion and prayers and more discussion ... we decided it would be best for him to leave.  Which he did.  Leaving him unemployed, without an MD degree, and over $100,000 in debt.  Yeah.  For two years of medical school. 

We spent the next year basically trying to "find" ourselves and survive.  John found a temporary job to supplement my decent-but-not-great income.  Our income was low enough to put his school bills into deferment for a year until we could "re-evaluate". 

Months passed with John recovering from his ordeal in medical school, and finally he decided that he wanted to go back to school again - this time for a PhD in research.  He worked hard, interviewed several places, and was accepted - at the same school he had attempted to get his MD degree!  Plus side: we don't have to move!  And they give their grad research students a stipend.  He would be paid for going to school - and actually be making more than me!

We've still got that medical school debt ... but now that John's in school it should go into deferment.  Meanwhile, we've bought a house in a much nicer neighborhood (no drug dealers or murders!  Yay!)  And John is so much happier than he ever was in medical school.  Which makes me happy!