Droopy Saturday

Thank goodness we stopped at Rite Aid yesterday for more medicine!  John was insistent yesterday that we needed to go to the drugstore to get some "good medicine".  When he showed me what he'd bought, I gave him a look and said, "That's the exact same stuff we have at home that I've been giving you the past two days.  We've still got loads of it!" 

But now it looks like we're going to need it - I've come down with the same cold.  Ugh.  I got home from work and we spent the evening in bed with the laptop watching Eureka on Netflix.  John had never seen the show before, and I had only watched the first 3-4 episodes back when it came out originally years ago.  It's pretty good.  If you looking for a relatively light-hearted show with a whole bunch of psuedo-science, check it out. 

One of the reasons we like to shop at Rite Aid is because they sell dog toys for $1 apiece.  Considering Honey rips up all her toys moments after receiving them, we're not going to spend much on toys for her.  But $1 to watch her face light up at the sight of the new toy, and then play joyously with it for a few minutes?  Totally worth it.

Hopefully John feels well enough to get some schoolwork done today.  He's got quite a lot due on Monday, and because he's been sick hasn't worked on anything since Wednesday.  Me?  I'm going to spend most of the day in bed, alternating between doing laundry and resting and taking care of Honey.   

My car Really needs some cup-holders

John is home in bed, sick with a cold.  He doesn't get sick often, but when he does, he completely shuts down.  Since attendance in required in all his classes, he got up and went to class this morning.

We carpool - him to class and me to work.  For one thing it saves money on gas and parking!  Today he was planning on staying on campus all day, and then leaving when I got off work this evening.  Instead, he showed up at my office at 11 am asking if I could take an early lunch to drive him home.

I took him home, with a brief stopover at Rite Aid to get him some medicine.  He went to get comfortable while I made him some soup and set up the laptop by the bed in case he wanted to watch anything.  When I left he was just tucking into some soup ... hopefully he can rest and feel better soon!

Since my hour was quickly disappearing, I stopped at Chick-fil-A to get some lunch for myself, along with a Coke.  Which then tipped and poured its entire contents all over the front seat as soon as I turned out of the parking lot. 

At least I have the weekend to scrub the car clean!

To end on a happier note ... the house sold!  The closing went very well, and that is one thing off of our plates!  Yay!

This & That

Bits of Randomness:

Thursday is my favorite day of the week.  Wednesdays are still too far away from the weekend, while Fridays are too popular.  Thursdays are like the downward slope after you've just crested the hill at the end of your walk, but before you actually get to the end.  It's just a great feeling.


John's getting his first stipend paycheck this weekend.  We were super stoked to get that email.  What with various expenses this year, we've worked through the little we'd saved and been uber tight the past 4-5 months.  With both of us getting paid, we can hopefully start to build up our savings again.  What a relief!


My work has actually calmed down and gotten easier lately.  The busyness of the new school year is calming down, and this is my fourth year in this position.  By now, I've gotten most things figured out (although I'm learning that there is always something unexpected that pops up) in my normal work day.  Last year at this time one of my co-workers left for a promotion in a different company, and all his work was passed onto me.  Basically from September 2011 to June 2012 I was working both my job and his job - which was in an area completely out of my expertise.  Needless to say I was super stressed almost all of last year.  But now that they've hired someone for that position ... my life is much happier!


The house closing is tomorrow - we had an A/C contractor come out and actually fix the a/c for under $400.  And it works!  The house is actually cool again!  Of course, then we turned off all the power, so nothing works right now.  I'm going to miss that house - our first home.  But at the same time ... I don't think I could move back.


I gave Honey a dose of benedryl-laced peanut butter during lunch today.  Benedryl makes her sleepy, and I'm wanting her to be sleepy and calm so that we can cut her nails.  They are ridiculously long since neither John nor I like to cut her nails because it's such an ordeal.  That dog is strong!  We've found that the only stress-free way to cut her nails is to make sure she's very sleepy and worn out first.  So ... a day or so on benedryl, plus a few long walks equals shorter nails without bloodshed and bruises.  For us, not Honey.  Honey is perfectly fine as long as she doesn't completely freak out.  Which she only does when we don't "sedate" her.

Grad School Triumvirate

My father got his doctorate through online courses about 2 years ago.  He was the first on my side of the family to not only attend a graduate degree program, but to receive his degree. 

I have no experience or expectations of grad school besides that it's supposed to be hard.

Both of John's parents went grad school.  His dad graduated with a DVM degree, and his mom with a PhD degree.  John's brother graduated with an MD degree.  Higher degree programs and graduate school is no stranger to his family. 

Thankfully, we can depend on John's parents to understand and help us through the various pressures and stresses of graduate school.

The biggest decision John has to make in the next year is what to focus his research on.  John's parents came up with a list of three things that make up an ideal program.  Best case scenario: your research has all three things.  But whichever program you choose, it must have at least two of them.


I.  A Good Mentor/Primary Investigator

•  You must have a mentor who will actually mentor you; one who will teach and advise you.  Your mentor must be someone that you can work alongside with; someone who will push you to succeed and encourage you when it's hard.  

• You do not want a mentor whose personality clashes with yours, or who is rarely in the lab, or who cannot explain or teach anything.  This is a person who will have a definite, direct influence over your career as a grad student - make sure it's someone you can work with.

II.  Fascinating Research

•  You must choose your focus based on what interests you.  You will be researching that topic for the next 3-6+ years; if you aren't interested in it, you will have a difficult time putting out quality work.  Whereas if you find the research intriguing, you are pursuing the research based on your own interest, not just as a job or to get a degree.

III.  A High Graduation Rate

• You should examine the research lab you are interested in and see how long the students generally stay in that lab.  Your mentor may be amazing and the research rewarding, but if it takes the students in that lab about 10 years before they graduate ... that needs to be considered.  
• You should look for a lab with a reasonable graduation rate; 3-5 years.  You can (and should) also look into what the graduates of that lab go on to do.  Are they successful once they graduate?  Or are they now flipping burgers?

John gets to rotate between three labs this fall, and two additional labs in the spring.  The whole program is designed to help him find the perfect fit for him in his research.  Last week he narrowed his (long) list of labs he was interested in down to five.

Since he wanted to leave his final rotation open in case he wanted to repeat any lab rotation, we needed to narrow the list down one more.  So, we placed each lab up against those three principles.

Four of them met all three.  One only met two.  That made the decision much easier!

John starts his first lab rotation on Monday.  I hope he likes it!

Accepting Less than Ideal

I have this idea of myself in my head.  I'm always gracious, and kind, and thoughtful; an amazing cook who keeps a spotless house; a wonderful wife who is always there when her husband needs her; a working professional who always completes projects and fulfills responsibilities well and on time; a dedicated worker in the church, who is there whenever the church doors are open and constantly serving in the background; a friendly hostess who has a wide variety of friends who know they can always stop by for dinner, and I am glad to welcome them to my home.

In other words ... perfect.

And quite definitely not me.

John attends a Bible Study with other men from our church every Monday night.  They rotate which houses they meet in, and I generally welcome the nights when they meet in our home.

Yesterday I had an evening work meeting - after an already full day at work.  I got home late, threw a fit when John seemed hesitant to re-schedule friends coming over, and told him he'd have to fend for himself for dinner.  I then picked up the house briefly and spent the rest of the evening relaxing in front of Netflix while John went out (he did re-arrange the schedule so that the men would meet at someone else's house).

Ideally, I would have come home, made John something to eat for dinner, and welcomed guests into our home graciously.  Never mind that I was tired after working all day.

Whenever I do something that doesn't live up to my ideal picture of myself, I feel upset and discouraged - a failure.  Slowly, I'm coming to the realization that I don't have to be perfect; that I can't be perfect.  That there are more options than "failing" or "succeeding".

As I get to know who I truly am, not my idealized self, I can start planning and arranging life to build me up, not wear me down.

For instance, by looking at my schedule beforehand I could have recognized that I would be tired and ready to relax when I got home.  I could recommend that John go out to dinner with a classmate, or pick up something to eat at home while studying so that I wouldn't have to cook.  I could have requested that we swap times with another family in the Bible study last week, instead of last minute.

That would have given me the exact same results ... but instead of getting upset and creating tension in our home, the evening would have run smoothly.  No "failure" involved.

   

Back In School

John did not get much study time this weekend.  He claims that he doesn't have much to study yet; only a week out from his first tests, and nothing posted online yet for the upcoming week.  A part of me is glad that he's on top of things.  Another part is just a little bit worried.

We've done this before, you see.  Before starting the program he's currently in, John spent two years in medical school - and hated it.  He disliked the curriculum, didn't connect well with his classmates, and generally was not ready for the responsibilities required for medical school.  By the end of his second year, he was genuinely dreading the next 8 years of his life. 

After much heartache and discussion and prayers and more discussion ... we decided it would be best for him to leave.  Which he did.  Leaving him unemployed, without an MD degree, and over $100,000 in debt.  Yeah.  For two years of medical school. 

We spent the next year basically trying to "find" ourselves and survive.  John found a temporary job to supplement my decent-but-not-great income.  Our income was low enough to put his school bills into deferment for a year until we could "re-evaluate". 

Months passed with John recovering from his ordeal in medical school, and finally he decided that he wanted to go back to school again - this time for a PhD in research.  He worked hard, interviewed several places, and was accepted - at the same school he had attempted to get his MD degree!  Plus side: we don't have to move!  And they give their grad research students a stipend.  He would be paid for going to school - and actually be making more than me!

We've still got that medical school debt ... but now that John's in school it should go into deferment.  Meanwhile, we've bought a house in a much nicer neighborhood (no drug dealers or murders!  Yay!)  And John is so much happier than he ever was in medical school.  Which makes me happy! 

Weekend Notes

Today was not nearly as productive as I would have liked, although it wasn't bad, either.  We're helping John's parents sell a house here in town, so this morning John went over there to cut the grass and attempt to fix the A/C.  John and I lived in the house for 4 years - and the a/c broke just before we moved out.  With the house closing in less than a week, we have to get it up and running again.  Preferably without it costing an arm and a leg!

John was kind enough to let me sleep in this morning - that plus the long nap I had this afternoon may be why I'm still up at 1:30 in the morning.  Bed, as soon as this is posted.  Promise!

While John was over at the other house, I attempted to paint a bench - I bought a bench at Goodwill's for $15.  It was sturdy, but a bit scuffed up.  I sanded it down really well, and spent the morning spraying on coats of white paint.  Unfortunately, I ran out of paint, and then messed up the top of the bench by not positively, absolutely, without-a-doubt made sure that the paint was completely dry.  Ah well - I just sanded that down again.  There will be a cushion on top of the bench when it's finished, so the top doesn't really matter.  Now I just need more paint!

We were total slackers this evening, though.  John really ought to have gotten some study time in; but I discovered that Netflix now has the second season of Sherlock, so we dropped everything to have a movie night!  My little laptop's sound wasn't up for the fast mumbling that Sherlock does so brilliantly, so we moved into the tiny office to watch the first two episodes on John's larger computer with speakers.  LOVE that show!

Tomorrow is church day - I believe I'll be in the nursery for the service.  After that lunch, a Sunday afternoon nap (for me, that is.  John doesn't believe in naps.  Unless he's sick or not feeling well), and some serious study time for John.  And maybe, just perhaps, we'll watch the final episode of Sherlock. 

75 Years Ago Today ...

... Tolkien's The Hobbit was first published.

I've actually not read The Hobbit yet.  It's on my to-do list, which means I need to get to it before the Peter Jackson movie comes out this December.  That's one of those books that everyone is supposed to read at one point or another.

Last night John went out with some of his classmates to enjoy some Korean food and some Karaoke.  Neither of us had ever done karaoke before, but I was too worn out from work and from only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before to go out and party on a weeknight.  But, he had fun - apparently his "hits" for the evening were "We Are the Champions" and "Barbie Girl".  He said the food was good, too, so we'll have to go out there again together sometime.

Today John was meeting with a PI to ask about doing a rotation through her lab.  She's doing some kind of ophthalmology research; which John finds fascinating.  Unless this meeting goes horribly wrong, he's already figured out which labs he wants to rotate through.

 Looking forward to the Weekend!!